As I sit here and reminisce over last year’s hunting season, I have realized that I’ve learned many things–some about myself, some about animals, and other things that are just plain common sense. I thought I would share a short list; some comical, a few serious and others, plain aggravating.
Random things I have learned while hunting:
1. Never pull a glove out of your pocket by the fingers; the second one will surely follow–sending it to the ground below or result in it getting left behind.
2. If you have pockets or a backpack, Murphy is somewhere hitching a ride; Murphy’s Law that is.
3. If the weather says 80% chance of rain and you deck out in full rain gear; it WON’T rain. If the weather says 10% chance of rain and you decide not to wear rain gear; it WILL rain.
4. Men have no problem buying tampons to use as scent wicks with deer scents during hunting season; any other months they will throw themselves in the floor, feet and arms a flailing, whining in an unrecognizable whimper.
5. If you “toot” in your ScentLok or scent destroying hunting wear, it really does work; make certain to shake your pant legs out before getting back to the truck, in the truck or wherever you plan on disrobing–chances are IT COULDN’T GET OUT.
6. NEVER go to the woods without toilet paper or a couple neatly folded paper towels in your pant pocket–something about nature is like a laxative.
7. If you think you forgot something…you probably did.
8. The last thing you should do before unloading your gun or un-nocking your arrow is to take a minute to look around. If Murphy, who is hiding in your backpack, has anything to do with your hunt, a huge 10 point is about to appear so close you could spit on him and of course he is going to stand and stare at you just long enough for you to struggle getting your backpack off or an arrow from your quiver.
9. It is important to know where EVERY game camera is on the property before you decide to drop your hunting bibs and do your business; these game camera pictures come back to haunt you.
10. Always know where your straps to your bib overalls are when dropping them…ALWAYS!!
11. When using doe pee, estrus or buck urine (especially from a spray bottle) NEVER apply it to anything while standing in the wind. Chances are you will be the one hunted.
12. Most camp food is hard on your digestive system–which brings us back to always having toilet paper. Some camp foods put your ScentLok to the test–which brings us back to shaking your pant legs out.
13. If you are going to another state to hunt, always ask if they have “stick-tights” if they do, DO NOT take your fleece. If you live in a state that does have stick tights, you probably have never owned fleece in your lifetime. Matter of fact, it should be illegal to retail fleece in those states.
14. When duck hunting, DIVE does not mean for you to jump out of the boat head first. It has to do with the type of presentation the incoming duck will give you.
15. Always take spare batteries–so you won’t ruin your hunt fretting over watching the flashlight you dropped from your climber slowly die 15 feet below you on an all day hunt.
I wonder what I will learn while in the woods this season? Hmmmm?